Tuesday, January 26, 2010

public book double feature

Good evening, everyone. I am pleased to present tonight's Free Public Book Double Feature. The first book is a youth fiction following Amy Tan's journey to the store and back. It may also be used as the key to an alphanumeric cypher using the search and replace function of a basic text editor, which will generate a long, unreadable message. I might write a guide on how to do that later.

The second book is a political thriller. It's great, you'll love it.

Amy Tan needed to go to the store. What did she buy there, and what did it represent symbolically?
    • Apricot-- resolution
    • Banana-- iniquity
    • Carrot-- misfortune
    • Date-- resolution
    • Eggplant-- generosity
    • Fig-- shame
    • Ginger root-- gnosis
    • Halibut-- birth order rights
    • Iodine-- necromancy
    • Jam-- mastery of horses
    • Kerosene-- dissatisfaction
    • Lemon-- victory
    • Mandarin-- tradition
    • Nectarine-- progress
    • Orange-- catastrophe
    • Plum-- mystery
    • Quails' eggs-- indignation
    • Radium-- radioactivity
    • Salmon-- certainty
    • Terrycloth-- duplicity
    • Umbrella-- class warfare
    • Valium-- consternation
    • Wort-- hope
    • X-rated films-- mortality
    • Zany mice [SELECT]

Amy Tan needed more zany mice. She went to the store to buy some. It was a fine and fulfilling day.

The Dog That Became President

Nobody paid any attention as Poochy slipped into the Oval Office. He had gone over it countless hours prior to falling asleep each evening. The location of the President's Hat. Yes, he kept it here, off and to the left as you go in, behind a special case that contained an exact holographic replica of the President's Hat in order to fool people. Suddenly, he heard footsteps. Poochy made a mad dive towards the President's Hat, which was glimmering against the background. The hat slipped on with assurance.

Two men stood framed in the doorway. One of them moved to speak.

"Mister President,"

Poochy looked up slowly. "Yes that's right. How may I help you gentlemen?"

"Mister President. . ."

Poochy drew out a long, level smile. The hat had done its work. "Yes, gentlemen, what is it?"

" . . .You look fantastic."


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